Reasons #1-8,000,000 Why I'm Glad the Bulls Didn't Sign T-Mac This Offseason

Team chemistry is important. So glad I'm not a Pistons fan right now.

Blame Game: Bulls-Raptors

I have to make this quick so I can get some sleep, but an hour and a half later I'm still pretty pissed off about this loss. Call it a trap game, Noah not in sync with the rest of the team, or whatever other excuse you want to use, but the fact is the Bulls gave up 118 points in regulation to a team that averages 98 points. That's not what a team that thinks they're one of the best defensive clubs in the NBA does when they get their best defender back.

TT- 40%

Haven't had a real cause to rail against TT for awhile, but I was yelling at him almost the entire 4th quarter. Kurt Thomas played more than Joakim in the 4th quarter, and more than Taj in the game. And he was killing the Bulls help D. He just could not get to the rim to protect it fast enough when Barbosa and Derozan blew by Korver or Deng. The Bulls were down 92-91 at the 8:26 mark, a perfect time to put Joakim back in the game. But he sticks with Kurt, the Raptors get three easy buckets making it 98-91, then it occurs to TT to put his best defender into the game.

I was holding out hope that it wouldn't be true, but it appears Kurt is going to be the 3rd big man for the Bulls, sliding Taj to 4th and Asik out of the rotation entirely. Big Sexy played 22 mostly ineffective minutes tonight, Taj 16, Asik 20someodd seconds. If this is a problem against the Raptors, you can be damn sure it's going to be a problem against the Heat tomorrow night, and every night until TT starts playing his best players.

Also, TT is supposed to be good at Xs and Os, but it seemed like it was the Raptors getting easy layups off inbounds plays at the end of the game, and the Bulls the ones throwing up off-balance shots or throwing the ball away. Sorry, TT, you were outcoached tonight.

And please grow the stones to remove Boozer when he's not playing defense at the end of games (more on this in a moment.)

Carlos Boozer- 25%

You weren't asked to guard Tim Duncan, or Blake Griffin, or even freaking Andrea Bargnani. Amir fucking Johnson went 8-8 from the field on whatever the hell you were passing off as defense, not to mention all the times you watched the Raptors wings beat their men to the hole without even a glimmer of help D. That's how you drop 24 and are a -7.

John Paxson and Gar Foreman- 15%

This one's for JJ. The silver lining in this loss was the look on JJ's face after the game, hugging ex-teammates who were all clearly happy for the guy to be in a situation where he gets to be a major contributer. And I'm going to write this in bold and italics and give it it's own paragraph to get the point across:

HE COULD HAVE BEEN A MAJOR CONTRIBUTOR FOR THE BULLS!!!

JJ wasn't Tyrus Thomas, a malcontent grumbling about playing time. He was always up on the bench with everyone else, even if it'd been 7 or 8 consecutive games with a DNP-CD. JJ has the athleticism, all he needs is the playing time and the right coaching to help him make better decisions on the court. There's no reason he couldn't have done that here. For how off Deng might have been on the defensive end tonight, the Bulls were way worse during the 6 minutes he was off, as the Raptors wings pretty much had their way with Kyle Korver. And I didn't like seeing JJ as one of those guys, although I'm rooting for him the rest of the way.

(And isn't the biggest knock on JJ his shot-selection? He took 4 shots in 26 minutes tonight. Seems like Toronto straightened him out in a hurry.)

Kyle Korver- 10%

When Kyle isn't hitting his shot, he shouldn't be on the court. The offense/defense substitution is fine when he's on, otherwise keep Ronnie on the court. Kyle had no chance against the quick Raptors wings and they ate him up all night. It would be different if Taj and Noah were behind him (I wish I had the minutes they played together in front of me, but I feel like it wasn't very much), but when Kurt and Booze are behind him, it's like an invitation to the basket.

Kurt Thomas- 5%

Not a lot left to say about Kurt. You know why he's here at this point.

Luol Deng- 5%

I hope it was just that you were saving your good defense for Lebron tomorrow night, Deng.

Absolved-

Derrick- I still love Derrick putting the team on his back offensively at the end of games. He shouldn't have to do that against the Raptors.
Ronnie Brewer- 4th leading scorer tonight, played with great energy like always. Big reason the 2nd unit went on a run at the beginning of the 2nd quarter.
Taj- I could probably give Taj a percent or two for his 2-8 from the field performance, but it looked like another night when he was getting hacked and the officials just ignored it.
Joakim- Again, maybe worth a percent or two for letting Bargnani drop so much, but he is a good offensive big man, and it was Noah's first game back, so I'll let him slide this time.

Better effort tomorrow tomorrow night, fellas. There are less and less cream puffs in the East by the day, and the 1 seed is within reach.

Rick Reilly Says Dumb Stuff About Basketball

An unfortunately inevitable side-affect of the Melo trade is a rash of "the sky is falling!" articles claiming that only 5 or 6 teams are ever going to be competitive from here on out, and any team without 3 superstars isn't going to be competitive anymore.

First of all: Duh. The NBA has always been this way. Look at the champion for the last 20 years:

2010: Lakers
2009: Lakers
2008: Celtics
2007: Spurs
2006: Heat
2005: Spurs
2004: Pistons
2003: Spurs
2002: Lakers
2001: Lakers
2000: Lakers
1999: Spurs
1998: Bulls
1997: Bulls
1996: Bulls
1995: Rockets
1994: Rockets
1993: Bulls
1992: Bulls
1991: Bulls

Notice anything? There hasn't been a lot of variety at the top of the NBA, and every team except that 04 Pistons squad had one of the 3 best players in the NBA at the time, and usually another top player as well. The only thing different now is that the players are more transparent in wanting to play together.

2nd of all: This doesn't mean the NBA is going to collapse. Quite the contrary, a lot of people reminisce about the good ol' days of the late 90s, when you could basically count on the same 7-8 star driven teams to meet in the playoffs each year. There were a lot of teams that were terrible all through this era, yet they didn't have to fold.

Rick Reilly doesn't know that though, since he basically only pays attention to golf anymore. It's not going to stop him from writing a poorly-informed article about it, though.

NBA no longer fan-tastic

In Denver, our hearts are as black as Johnny Cash's closet, our eyes mere lumps of coal. We are the emptiest thing fans can be: an NBA city without an NBA superstar.

What's this "our hearts" crap? Are you trying to be Bill Simmons here and represent Denver all of a sudden? (I know Reilly's from there, but I've never seen him write a first person article from a Denver perspective before.)

Don't laugh. You could be next.

Did Reilly write anything after The Decision? Stupid ESPN makes searching their archives unnecessarily hard, but I couldn't find him writing anything besides gold and world cup articles last summer. If he didn't it's interesting he's just noticing this now.

This is what the NBA has become: very tall, very rich twenty-somethings running the league from the backs of limos, colluding so that the best players gang up on the worst. To hell with the Denvers, the Clevelands, the Torontos. If you aren't a city with a direct flight to Paris, we're leaving. Go rot.

You can fly directly from Toronto to Paris.

There's no rule against it, so they do it. Ray Allen and Paul Pierce beg Kevin Garnett to please come to Boston. LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh connive to play in Miami. At his wedding in New York City this past July, Carmelo Anthony, Amare Stoudemire and Chris Paul toasted to all three playing in New York someday. Stoudemire switched this past summer. Anthony was traded there Monday. And Paul is set to enter free agency next season, bags already packed.

Kevin Garnett didn't actually trade himself to Boston. Also, since I mentioned 2004 earlier, does anyone remember Karl Malone and Gary Payton taking less money to play for the Lakers that year? How'd that work out for them?

Great for Spike Lee. Sucks for the game.

"The question is, will the fans support players whose egos are bigger than the game?" asks Denver Nuggets coach George Karl, who suddenly finds himself coaching a locker room full of nobodies. "Will the fans support all these players and agents manipulating things? Because if they don't, if the switch [by fans] is abrupt enough, the league could be at a crisis point."

Yes, we know how fickle fans are when it comes to supporting players with big egos.

Hello, David Stern? Did you leave a wake-up call for the 21st century? Your clubs need to be able to protect their great players with a franchise tag, as the NFL does. If that isn't priority No. 1 in your lockout talks, you need the Wite-Out.

I'd love to see a CBA with wite-out all over it. Also, apparently they don't talk about this around the golf clubhouse, but NFL players hate the franchise tag.

The trick to getting superstar players is to surround them with good, not overpaid role-players (unlike, say, Allen Iverson) which the Nuggets had trouble with. If the Nuggets weren't paying, say, Kenyon Martin $16 mil this year, maybe they could afford to surround Melo with talent that wasn't first-round-knockout-worthy.

Anthony stuck it to Denver because he could. Teams are powerless against it. He got the city he wanted, the teammates he wanted and the money he wanted, and he got it before the lockout. It's good to be king.

I'm not sure why you would begrudge him any of that. Melo hasn't been a huge prima donna or malcontent. He really didn't owe Denver anything, especially the way they kept forcing him to play with people like JR Smith and Chris Andersen.

The only power Denver had was to yank Melo's chain.

"Carmelo," Nuggets general manager Masai Ujiri said Monday night, "you've been traded …"

Melo held his breath on the other end of the line.

"… to the Nigerian national team."

Is this a joke without punchline? Or did this really happen? I'm confused.

Question: When all the Denvers and Memphises and Sacramentos fold because all their stars leave, whom are these SuperFriends teams going to beat? Baylor?

Providence? Iowa State? Wyoming? UNC-Wilmington?

A strong league is strong throughout, not just at the top. In other words, how will you get them to care in China, Mr. Stern, when they don't in Portland?

They always care in Portland. And every team can't be good at the same time. The NBA has done a pretty good job giving players incentives to stay with their teams (like being able to offer more money). The teams that haven't found themselves competitive in the last 20 or so years in most cases have no one to blame but themselves.

"The whole foundation of this massive thing called pro sports is the fan," Karl said. "You got to make the fan happy."

AKA, you've got to make me happy. The Denver fan will be fine. Karl might not be if they fall out of the playoffs.

We are not happy in Denver. Here's why:

1. What we're left with: We gave up a surefire Hall of Famer, who is only 26, for four New York Knicks starters. This is like acquiring the four best mountain climbers in Nebraska. Among Wilson Chandler, Raymond Felton, Danilo Gallinari and Timofey Mozgov (who, I believe, doesn't even exist), not one is in the top 35 in scoring or rebounding.

So you're admitting you're judging the trade without even seeing one of the key players? The Knicks were balking at including Mozgov, since promising young big men don't grow on trees. But no, I'm sure you're fine with Martin and Birdman up front.

Another thing clearly not mentioned in your golf clubhouse: the Knicks are halfway decent this year, and the 4 guys you got are all 26 years old and under, and making reasonable salaries. Know who else isn't in the top 35 in scoring? Ray Allen, Steve Nash, your precious Chauncey Billups, Chris Paul, Al Horford...

Know who's in the top 50 in scoring? Raymond Felton (38th), Wilson Chandler (44th), and Danilo Gallinari (49th)

2. The utter, sickening irony of it: Anthony insisted the most important thing to him was not (A) getting his starlet wife, LaLa Vasquez, to Broadway, nor (B) dunking with his friends, nor (C) cranking up his Q rating on Madison Avenue. No, he said his main priority was (D) "playing for a champion."

Why New York, then?

Stoudemire and Anthony will go together like peanut butter and microscopes. Stoudemire is a pick-and-roller. Anthony never picks and rolls. Stoudemire likes the ball in the same spots Anthony likes it. Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni lives to run. Anthony likes to set up on the wing, freeze it, look it over, freeze it some more and then unleash some weapon from his incredible one-on-one offensive arsenal. It works plenty, but Stoudemire is not going to enjoy standing there and watching it.

Remind me: How did it go with Anthony and Allen Iverson sharing one ball?

I agree with some of this. I don't think the Knicks have a very good chance to win the championship without adding at least one more major piece (Paul, maybe) and finding someone to play defense in the middle. Even then that just makes them competitive with the top teams in the East, by no means a favorite. However, he has a heck of a better chance then he does with the collection of albatross contracts he was playing with in Denver.

"If [Anthony would] have stayed with us, he'd have had a much better chance of winning a championship," Nuggets president Josh Kroenke said. He's right.

Not even remotely.

If Anthony had really wanted to play for a champion, he should've stayed put. The Nuggets had two big contracts expiring (kneeless Kenyon Martin's and brainless J.R. Smith's), which would have allowed them to sign the fresh-legged big man and the shooter they needed.

Any ideas who those players were going to be? Also you're probably not finding cheaper fresh-legged big man than Mozgov or shooter than Gallinari.

Prediction: Anthony will never get closer to winning an NBA title than he did in Denver.

That may be true since they went to the Western Conference Finals two years ago, but that doesn't mean he was going to get back there any time soon with the Nuggets. I think it was pretty obvious Denver was going in the other direction.

3. The lousy thing all this does to Chauncey Billups -- our native son: Billups was sucked into the vortex of a trade he wanted no part of. He deserved to end his basketball career in Denver, where it began. Instead, at age 34, he's being fitted for a Knicks jersey and wondering how he tells his three little girls.

Thanks for the ride, Karl texted him when news of the megatrade hit. You're one of the best winners I ever coached.

He didn't mention texting Anthony.

Billups is a class act, but Melo shouldn't be held accountable for him being traded. Basketball is a business. If Melo didn't exist, the Nuggets still would have traded Billups if it meant they got prospects and cap space in return.

The grinding unfairness of it all: The NBA used to work on a turn system. You will lose, but if you hang in there, you'll be rewarded with a very high draft pick like an Anthony, and your turn at glory will arrive.

Not anymore. The superstars are in charge now. Now, you lose and you get a pick, and that pick immediately starts texting his pals to see where they'll all wind up in three years. Pretty soon, you're back losing again.

Melo was in Denver for 7 and a half years. He is not in the least bit obligated to spend his entire career in Denver, especially since they were clearly sliding in the wrong direction. And teams that are halfway competent at drafting and handing out contracts (San Antonio, for example) don't even go into those downslides.

Get ready, Oklahoma City.

KD has stated he wants to play in Oklahoma City, and most importantly, they have an intelligent GM that has the cap space to keep him and the other young talented players around him. Somehow I don't think OKC needs to be worried.

You wonder why the NFL continues to pull away from the NBA in this country?

NBA ratings are the highest they've been in years.

Three words: Green Bay Packers. Two more: Indianapolis Colts. The NFL finds a way to let cities that don't happen to have a Versace store hang on to their great players like, oh, say, Peyton Manning.

"Melo was a big part of our team, but he wasn't irreplaceable," Karl said. "I think we're still going to make the playoffs, and I think we're going to be good when we get there."

Now why on Earth would he think that?

"Because I believe in my guys," Karl said.

I'm sure he does.

And soon he'll meet them.

Except George Karl actually, ya know, follows basketball in addition to coaching it, and is aware that the players he got in exchange for Melo exist, and are good at basketball.

At least Reilly has met his NBA quota for the year and can get back to writing about golf.

$30,000,000 Men

Would you pay Albert Pujols $30,000,000 to play on your team?

http://www.csnchicago.com/02/21/11/Sox-Drawer-Williams-says-no-to-Pujols-in/landing_soxdrawer_v3.html?blockID=414958&feedID=621

Kenny makes a lot of great points about having a salary cap in baseball even stating that he has very little room to complain since the White Sox are one of the big market teams. Their payroll is at $125,000,000. Last year the lowest payroll in the MLB was $34,000,000. Even still, he would be for a 'lock-out' so that regular 'joes' like us can go see a game at an affordable price and maybe buy a hot dog or Coke.

If we're going by what the current market dictates based on a player of his calibre both on and off the field, then 'yes.' Pujols deserves to make more money than A-Rod. The problem is no body who plays a game deserves that kind of money in one year.

Derrick Dominates the All-Star Game Liveblog

I expect nothing less than 25-5-10 and an MVP award, Derrick.

Hawks-Penguins Open Thread

I'm not one of those fans that refuses to root for a rival under any circumstances. The Red Wings are going to the playoffs, while Minnesota is one of those teams the Hawks are fighting with, so I'm rooting for a Wings win (although Backstrom has been a beast this game.) Anyways, must win for the Hawks (as pretty much the rest of the season will be from here on out), the Penguins are missing half their team, so there's no excuses today. It would be nice to see the Hawks win a close win, as Puck Daddy had a piece today on how the Hawks are the worst in the western conference in close games this year. I'd settle for a blowout, though.

All-Star Saturday Night Liveblog

Welcome, folks. There is an excellent chance Blake Griffin is coming into this dunk contest with the most hype of anyone this decade. Can he beat the murderer's row of Serge Ibaka, Demar Derozan, and...someone else I'm forgetting? Come talk about it here.

If you haven't been a part of this yet, be patient after you make your first comment. I have to approve you, but after that you should be able to comment at will.

The Bulls Have the Right Mindset, in One Tweet

This is why I love Taj, and the way this Bulls team is made up. We have players that actually play defense in exhibition games (I have no doubt Derrick will be trying to win Sunday night, and you'd better believe if Joakim was playing he'd be knocking people on their ass), and we don't have any morons who get offended by the idea that the other team is trying, and curse out their teammates for not passing them the ball in crunch time. Don't ever change, Taj.

Derrick gets down

Have any of you seen this video of Derrick Rose busting a serious move back in high school? The Bulls should take advantage of this and maybe talk to him about dancing sometime with the Luvabulls or maybe even the Matadors.

Here's Derrick getting down:

Dope.

Credit Where Credit is Due- Bulls/Hornets

This post could easily be a blame game for the Hawks (losing in a shootout for the 2nd night in a row...) but it would be pretty similar to last night. So let's focus on the positive.

Ronnie Brewer- 22%
Play of the game: 7:45 left, tie game (80-80). CJ turns the ball over to David West, who passes to Marcus Thornton going down the middle of the lane. Ronnie chases him down and blocks the layup, leading to a CJ 3 on the other end. Bulls never trailed the rest of the game. Ronnie makes plays all the time like this and doesn't always get the recognition, but are just as important as a Derrick spinning layup. Exactly why Ronnie finished with a game-high +16.

Derrick- 20%
They showed a graphic before the game I wish I had in front of me, but it was basically showing Derrick's numbers against all the other "best PG in the NBA" contenders. And they were damn good. Derrick tonight: 23 points, 6 assists (8-8 from the line. Suck on that, Hollinger). Chris Paul: 15 points, 6 assists. Derrick isn't the kind of guy to say he has something to prove out loud, but his play certainly shows it.

Luol Deng- 10%
Only two weird shot choices for Deng tonight, and despite being 0-3 from downtown, I was ok with the rhythm of the shots. He spent most of the night attacking the basket, and the Bulls are much better on offense when he chooses to do that. Also, nice D on Ariza (although I guess Ariza is really self-guarding this year.)

Taj- 10%
Not a great line for Taj: 6 points, 2 rebounds, 5 fouls. However he was +15, and that was because the Hornets could not attack the basket when Taj was in the game. He only pulled down 2 rebounds because he was coming out all over the place to play help D and contest shots, with Asik and Kurt pulling down the boards after. Now if only he would stop getting weak foul calls...

CJ- 10%
CJ only had 7 points and a +1, but he gets the 10% for his excellent D on Chris Paul and Jarret Jack all night. His D was the main reason TT felt comfortable leaving him in from the 10 minute mark (with the game tied) until about 4:30, with the Bulls up 5. Speaking of which...

TT's faith in CJ- 8%
Thank you, TT. When we can pick up a win against a good team and Derrick not playing the entire 4th quarter, it helps the rest of the team's confidence now, and will help Derrick's legs later.

Asik- 8%
4 points, 11 boards (4 offensive) +7. Nothing spectacular, but he outplayed all of the Hornets big white guys, so that's worth something.

Boozer-7%
Booze did a good job taking it to the rim for the most part. He would be higher but he was somehow a -6 in this game, which I think had a lot to do with how weak his help defense was.

Bogans- 5%
Gotta give Bogans credit any time he scores in double figures (4th time this season, and the 1st since November). But he got lit up by Marcus Thornton, so I couldn't put him too high.

No Credit:

Kyle Korver- 1-5, -7. Luckily without Okafor the Hornets aren't a team you need to beat from the outside.
Kurt Thomas- Yeah, he had 11 boards, but he also had some bad turnovers and late rotations. I certainly hate Kurt a lot less than I did earlier, but this was not his best night.

Any time we can come back from a west-coast road trip with a winning record it's a good thing. Now let's see if we can actually beat the stupid Bobcats Tuesday.

Bulls-Hornets Liveblog

Welcome all. If this is your first time, be patient if your comment doesn't appear right away, I have to approve you as a preferred commenter first. After that you should be able to comment at will, however.

Blame Game- Hawks/Stars

OK, now I'm ready to hit the panic button.

Marlboro 72- 50%

How many times can our so-called star defensive duo be out of position or make an unforced turnover before we stop labeling them "stars"? Keith has been downright bad this year. His +/- the last three years: +30, +33, +21. This year? -2. And much of that is completely on his turnovers or falling asleep on D. Especially that 3rd goal, which should have been put in the first time, then they somehow got a 2nd chance to get back in position and make a play and still couldn't do it.

Marty Turco-20%

Sorry, Marty. This might be a little high, because you made some huge saves in the 3rd period on some plays that your defense let you down (see above). But the first goal was a little weak, and you might as well have stayed on the bench for the shootout.

JT- 15%

This is more of a general indictment of Toews than just last night. Sorry I'm bringing everything back to basketball, but there are a lot of similarities between the Hawks and the Utah Jazz right now. I believe it was Conall that was telling me a story about how Q wanted JT to practice shootout plays, and the captain refused. A team follows it's leader, and if the leader isn't on board, no one will be. Maybe you don't need to practice those shots JT, but after Sharpie's pathetic little effort, don't you think maybe your team needs to? Similarly, if Deron Williams had been playing hard for Jerry Sloan all year, he'd still be the coach right now. JT, leadership starts with you.

Bickell- 5%

Bickell is accepting this 5% on behalf of a team that got outhit 39-16 last night. I know the Hawks are not the most physical team out there, but that number is indicative of a team that wants it more. And at this point in the season, if they have any desire at all to make the playoffs, no one should want it more than the Hawks.

Sharpie- 5%

Jeez, I could have done better on that last shootout attempt, and I can barely skate, Sharp. We need every point we can get right now, so work on shootout attempts, please.

Bolland- 5%

I had an extra 5%, so...want to win some faceoffs at some point, Bolland? That might help.

Absolved-

Patrick Kane- Could have been better in the 2nd and 3rd, but his first period is the only reason we got a point out of this one.

Pisani, Johnson, Stahlberg- All got injured before they could do anything wrong, and that's the only reason they're down here.

Noah's Arc

If you have not already seen CSN's inside look at Joakim Noah...

http://www.csnchicago.com/pages/bullsvideo?PID=X6cUfBKJdLaW_AQfeuaDZ_ySZ_wZGo_2

"I got kicked out of preschool for having too much imagination"

"It's kind of hard to blend in when you're 7ft tall and have all this hair"

"If I weren't playing basketball, I'd probably be selling fruit on the beach"

Random Notes From Around Chicago

If anyone wants to add the White Sox on to these types of posts, be my guest...

Bulls

The problem with west coast night games is that I only get to watch the first half at best. So while I gather that the problem with the Warriors game was turnovers, and the problem with the Blazers game is we let Aldridge drop 42, I don't feel like I really have the ability to analyze the little things that can be the difference between wins and losses.

I did notice a disturbing trend in both games, however. Both teams defended the Derrick-Kurt/Taj pick and roll by all out double-teaming Rose and making him give it up. If you have two solid defenders, this can work. The obvious counter-attack is to have 3 guys who all can shoot in the corners and top of the key, so the other 3 defenders can't guard everyone. Of course, the Bulls really only have 1 reliable spot-up shooter (Korver) so they need to be creative. I've seen Boozer make some nice plays in the 4-on-3 that results, but this worries me long-term if more teams start to copy it.

(While we're talking xs and 0s, Kurt Thomas has twice been late on the help for the pick-and-roll. While Kurt has been better lately, this is clearly the time to bring in Taj, TT.)

Bears

I know we paid a lot of money for not a lot of yards from Chester Taylor, but I hope he's back next year. (Note: all Bears notes for the offseason are working off the assumption that there is a next year.) He wasn't the 2nd coming of Thomas Jones, but he made Matt Forte markedly better by spelling him here and there, and finding the hole when it was there. All problems with running backs this year should be addressed to the offensive line, who didn't open up a lot of holes for either running back.

Cubs

Ethan texted me last week saying "why didn't the Cubs sign Vlad?" The reasons were too myriad for me to reply in a text, so I'll explain here:

1. The Cubs already have 36.4 million invested in the outfield (and only 3.4 million of that is our two good outfielders,Marlon Byrd and Tyler Colvin)
2. Adding outfielders means less at-bats for Colvin (it shouldn't but it will) which is entirely counter-productive at this point. If Colvin, Geovany Soto, and Starlin Castro get less than 500 at-bats this year, I will be seriously disappointed in Mike Quade (While we're at it, please find 300 for Darwin Barney, somewhere.)
3. The Cubs are not a top NL contender this year, nor would they be with Vlad in the outfield. The Cubs are somewhere in between being halfway competitive and rebuilding. It confuses me why they are trying to rebuild on the fly (like I talked about last time) but it's clearly the direction they're going in.
4. Colvin's better defense might make up for Vlad's offense, considering how old and slow Vlad is. He belongs in the American League at this point in his career.

There's probably more, but that's enough for now.

(Since I'm kicking Ethan while he's down, I'm typing this while watching the Bulls-Jazz game, and Andrei Kirilenko is seriously owning Luol Deng's shit right now. Two straight easy buckets on him with little resistance then a blocked shot on the other end...)

Hawks

I'm not pressing the panic button just yet, like everyone else is, but man, they need to start playing motivated. I still don't think the Hawks will miss the playoffs, but I'd love if they started playing like it was a possibility. The NHL playoffs seem to be the biggest crapshoot out there, but it's not like they're even one point out in 9th place anymore. They're 11th. And 3 points back. It's time to start trying, boys, or I'm on the Stanley Cup Hangover bandwagon.

(Sam, as Gordon Hayward checks in for the Jazz: "Hayward's on the Jazz? I just assumed he was on the Pacers..." Take a bow, Larry Bird. If you're a white, American, halfway decent college player, you're automatically assumed to be on the Pacers.)

Fire

I'm excited to see the Portland Timbers play, just because it's always fun to see soccer in regions that support it, and Portland is going to support the hell out of it. I'll stop short of saying the Sounders-Timbers rivalry will make people care about the MLS, but it'll be interesting if you care about soccer.

(CSN, screw you for putting stupid clips of nut-shots in the corner of the screen. They put a promo for the stupid new Adam Sandler movie, and it's literally just people getting hit in the nuts. I'm trying to watch a basketball game here, not America's Funniest Home Videos.)

From the "I Told You So" Files

Here's what I said in December (see comments), and here's statistical proof that I was right. Suck it, Trebeck!

Rick Reilly Loves the Packers for All the Wrong Reasons

Reilly wrote an article explaining why you should root for the Packers. I'm going to take it apart, FJM-style. Now before you say I'm a hater and clearly biased, I recognize that there are legitimate reasons to root for the Packers if you're not a Steelers or Bears fan. One team is quarterbacked by a likeable superstar, one team is quarterbacked by a rapist, who's kind of a waste of human space in other ways as well. The Steelers win the super bowl entirely too often. Green Bay doesn't have the dongslinger any more.

Rick Reilly chose none of these reasons. The reasons he did choose? Insane. Let's get to it.

You root for the Green Bay Packers in this Super Bowl because Steelers fans want their team to win but Packers fans need their team to win. They need it like air.

One paragraph in before the "Packers fans are the greatest! They're the Cardinals fans of football!" It's the NFL. Every team has die-hard fans (except the Jaguars.) The Packers fans are no better or worse than any other, and certainly don't "need it like air"

The football stadium can fit 72 percent of the town inside of it. One in every 54,000 Chicagoans is a Bears' fan, but one in 1,900 Green Bay residents is a Packers' fan. It says "Titletown" on the city seal. The Packers are Green Bay and vice versa. Their very souls are dimpled pigskin.

Based on that first sentence, I'm going to assume Reilly arrived at these dubious numbers by dividing the capacity of Soldier Field by the population of Chicago. Putting aside for a second the silly idea that you're only a Bears fan if you're actually at Soldier Field on gameday, the numbers in that case are 1 in 46 for just Chicagoans, and 1 in 159 if you include the whole metro area. For Green Bay it's 1 in 1.4 for the city, and 1 in 4 for the metro area. Either way Reilly's math is way off.

You root for the Packers in this Super Bowl because most of the hotels in Green Bay are sold out for the game. Yes, hotels in Green Bay are sold out for a game in Dallas. "I got people from all over the country coming to watch the game at my bar," says Jerry Watson, who owns Stadium View, the biggest tavern in town. "Packers fans just have to watch with other Packers fans. ... Last time we were in a Super Bowl, I came to open up in the morning and I had 1,000 people waiting to get in. At 8 a.m. I turned the lock and ran for it."

Ran where? Aren't you the bar owner? Shouldn't you want people coming to your bar?

You root for the Packers in this Super Bowl because karma owes Brett Favre a very terrible Sunday for what he did to Packers fans; for what he did to the front office; for all the fake retirement press conferences and fake tears and fake posturing; for dragging Aaron Rodgers' career around through his own muddy whims. Rodgers deserved better and now he deserves this.

Oh, maybe he does mention Favre. Ok, we agree on this one.

You root for the Packers in this Super Bowl because Green Bay is the last little town to keep its team. You want it for Decatur, Ill., which lost its team to Chicago, and Portsmouth, Ohio, which lost its to Detroit, and Pottsville. Pa., which lost its to Boston. You root for the Packers for the same reason you root for Roberto Benigni to win the Oscar or Buster Douglas to win the fight. It's right.

Buster Douglass, the paragon for the underdog! It's not like he lost his next fight, ballooned to 400 pounds, and almost died in a diabetic coma. Oh wait...

You root for the Packers in this Super Bowl because it's more than just Green Bay's football team. It's the blood in their veins and the asphalt under their tires. They drive down Lombardi Avenue. They speed down Holmgren Way. They park on Reggie White Way. They learn at Vince Lombardi Elementary and daydream of starring at Lambeau Field. And if they lose Sunday, there will be a line to jump off Ray Nitschke Bridge.

Yes, we get it, there's nothing going on in Green Bay besides the Packers. That's not a good reason to root for them. And I'm willing to bet, considering the Packers are a young team on the rise, there won't be mass suicides if they lose on Sunday.

You root for the Packers in this Super Bowl for guys like the one on PackerForum.com writing about hearing his mom shriek downstairs and thinking she's in trouble and running down to find her in her robe and slippers shrieking in delight at the man standing in the doorway, Packers god Bart Starr, who had stopped by to drop off some gifts as thanks for the guy cutting Starr's lawn and shoveling his sidewalk this year.

One of the things that annoys me about Reilly's shtick is when people email him little human interest stories like this, and he finds awkward ways to shoehorn them into columns like this one.

You root for the Packers in this Super Bowl because being a Steelers fan is a sickness but being a Packers fan is incurable. In Green Bay, Packers gas up where you gas up, pray where you pray, eat where you eat. The players are like family, which means they get yelled at a lot. "That's the thing that's a little different here," says All-Pro Packers linebacker Clay Matthews. "If you mess up here, the lady at the grocery store will let you know."

Yeah, no where else in America are players held accountable for their play on the field by the fans. (I know there are millions of examples of this, but I'm being lazy right now.)

You root for the Packers in this Super Bowl because, at the end of it, they're not giving out the Noll Trophy, they're giving out the Lombardi Trophy. Nobody on Broadway is rushing to see the hit play Cowher, but they are rushing to see the hit play Lombardi. (Over the years, though, many have gone to the one about Troy Polamalu: Hair.)

Haha, jokes. Seriously, is anyone rushing to see the hit play Lombardi? I will say, however, that the Broadway play Cowher would be even worse.

You root for the Packers in this Super Bowl because Packers fans took a taunt -- "You cheesehead!" -- and turned it into a gouda thing. In 1987, Ralph Bruno, while upholstering his mother's couch in Milwaukee, burned holes into one of the cushions, carved a hole for his head and painted it yellow. Thus, the Cheesehead product line was born. In Green Bay, you can also buy cheese top hats, cheese sombreros, cheese ties, cheese earrings, cheese footballs, cheese bricks, cheese beer cozies, cheese sunglasses, cheese flying discs and, naturally, cheese fezzes.

I absolutely love that the first cheesehead was made out of a couch cushion. Also, "You cheesehead!" is a terrible taunt. And "gouda thing" is a terrible pun.

Do they wear steel beams in Pittsburgh?

No, but they wave stupid little yellow handkerchiefs around and pretend like that's something special.

You root for the Packers in this Super Bowl because if the Steelers left Pittsburgh there would still be the Penguins, who won the Stanley Cup in 2009, and the Pirates. True, they stink, but Albert Pujols visits all the time.

I'm sure seeing Albert Pujols in person makes being a Pirates fan worth it.

If the Packers left, Green Bay's major attraction would be the L.H. Barkhausen Waterfowl Preserve. But some people would still take Packerland Drive to get there.

You root for the Packers in this Super Bowl because every now and then the game needs to have on top the little team nobody can seem to hate.

Me! Me! I can hate them! Just watch! Also, these guys.

You root for the Packers in this Super Bowl because of Ouida Wright and her boyfriend, who never dreamed being homeless in Green Bay would be lucky. They were on the street when the Dallas Convention and Visitor's Bureau sent a "mystery" man out, waiting for someone to address him with the secret phrase: "Have you been to Dallas lately?" Wright heard about it, said it to the right guy and now she's going to the Big Bowl with her boyfriend. Hotel, tickets, flights--everything paid.

Yes, when they come back to Green Bay from watching the Packers play in the Super Bowl, they still won't have anywhere to live.

Maybe if Green Bay was such the altruistic white knight of the NFL, they'd find these fans a place to live. But they won't, because the world doesn't work like that, and there are no "good teams" and "bad teams". Every team wants and deserves to win equally.

What's your point?

My point is you're a moron and that's a terrible way to end an article.

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