Seventh Round Draft Justifications

I apologize again that these are coming so slowly. I wanted to be done by now. Anyways, here are the full results, let's take it away.

Will- Joakim Noah
It's a little easier to critique this one since Noah's had so many lackluster games lately (last night notwithstanding.) He's really got to pick up the intensity as we approach the playoffs here. But I don't want to harp on Noah too much here, as Gomez says, that's bad karma.

Gomez- Jermaine Dye
The 4 most similar players on Baseball Reference for Jermaine are Torii Hunter, someone named Greg Luzinski, Reggie Sanders, and Tim Salmons. I feel like you could get more value here.

Ron- Harold Baines
Like Harold Baines, for example.

Conall- Joe Crede
Did you know Joe Crede only had 4 seasons of more than 100 games played? I forgot he flamed-the-fuck-out so quickly.

BJ- Mark Grace

No stats necessary for this one. Admittedly at this point I was partially motivated by trying to steal Cubs from Tristan, I could never be mad at myself for drafting Grace too high. The man was an institution at 1st for my entire childhood. Rarely flashy, or even athletic, Grace was a perennial borderline all-star and Gold Glove runner-up. His lack of obvious speed didn't keep him from being an outstanding defensive first baseman, and more than his range or assists would show, his consistency and dependability were a perfect building block for an infield. Also gets bonus points for single-handedly keeping the Cubs in the '89 playoffs and then bridging that lonely gap to the 98 team.

Sam- Will Perry

Sam will fill this in later.

Ethan- Aramis Ramirez
Just to be fair, I decided to see who the 4 most similar players were for Aramis, and number 2 was Jermaine Dye. They're still both a hell of a lot better than Joe Crede, though.

Katz- Johnny Red Kerr (coach)
I don't want to tear down Red. But if people want to give me crap for my pick's winning percentage, they should know that Kerr's as a coach was .329.

Tristan- Ed Belfour
So far I've picked a team full of good character guys and consummate professionals. We need some color in this clubhouse, so I'm taking one of the bigger characters in the Chicago sports world in Eddie the Eagle. My team needed a Vezina Trophy Winner and a guy who would try to offer a cop a billion dollar bribe. Good value.

Sixth Round Draft Justifications

Sorry for the delay between rounds. Moving and whatnot. Here are the full results.

Tristan- Devin Hester
Not to toot my own horn, but I feel like Devin Hester is an interesting pick. There are certainly players picked later in the draft who contribute more to their teams every game than Hester, who only gets to affect the outcome of games on a small number of plays, sometimes detrimentally. But I can say there is nobody picked after Devin, and very few players picked before, that have provided Chicago with more jump-out-of-your-seat highlights than Hester has. And I don't know if there's anyone else that was picked past the third round who you could make the case is the best player ever at their position. I'm just going to end my Hester argument with this:

You should watch all 10 minutes of that. It's pretty fun.

Katz- BJ Armstrong
I'm pretty sure Katz picked the first person in the draft who was ever left unprotected in an expansion draft. Also, if Stacey gets points for being good on television, then we need to dock BJ points for that. He tried his hand in front of the camera, and it was ugly. I wish I could find a clip of it, but he was awkward and stilted, and didn't last long. He makes a much better agent (which I suppose we can give him points for, but it's not like being Derrick's agent is hard. "My client is awesome and wants to play for you forever. Please give him as much money as possible. Thanks.")

Ethan- Mike Brown
Immediately after typing his name, Mike Brown just went on the Chitown Sports Fantasy Draft Injured List.

Sam- Derrek Lee
The only way I can explain Derrek Lee falling to the 6th round is to attribute it to the lack of die-hard Cubs fans involved in the draft. True, he has never led the Cubs to a World Series (though he was part of the Marlins team that robbed the Cubs of a title chance in 2003), but he is a 3-time gold glover (twice with the Cubs) and also received a silver slugger for his 2005 season (the year he had an insane 28 RBIs the first month of the season). And let us not forget his incredible 2009 when he had an impressive 90 RBIs and led the team to the league's best record. The Cubs did massively fail to impress that post season, dropping three straight to the Dodgers, but Derrek came back the next year resilient, tallying 111 RBIs and batting a .306 average on the season. (Ok, ok...I know they didn't even make the playoffs that year, but really, the Cubs are heartbreaking every year ok? He's still a great player and one of my favorites to ever wear Cubby blue...) He should also be awarded a point or two for finally losing his cool and telling Big Z to shove it in what is remembered as the second dugout altercation of Zambrano's illustrious Cubs career. Derrek would also fit in like a gem with TT's hard work mentality.

Editor's note: My only regret from the entire draft was letting Derrek fall to Sam here. I should have picked him over Ron Harper.

BJ- Fergie Jenkins
What is there not to like about Fergie? Admittedly this pick was based somewhat on reputation, and it's a bit harder now to recall exactly what I was thinking during the draft; the man was a beast. Since I never saw him play, the only real exposure I had to him growing up was listening to Santo talk about him, which he never failed to do when the topic of the best pitchers of that era came up. But here are some stats to chew on: First Canadian Hall of Famer, >3000 K's and <1000 walks, from 1967-72 he had >20 CG every year(in 1971 when he outdueled Seaver for the Cy Young he went the distance in 30 of his 37 starts) and then after he had one down the Cubs traded him for Bill Madlock and he came back in 1974 to throw another 29 CG and win 25 games for the freaking Rangers. Argh ok let's move on I'm getting frustrated.

Conall- Billy Williams
For most of my childhood, I knew Billy Williams as "the other guy who's had his number retired besides Ernie Banks." He was pretty good, I guess, but he's nothing special. Every franchise has a few Billy Williamses. But I suppose we're in the rounds where those guys get drafted. Whatever, congratulations on a boring pick.

Ron- Carlton Fisk
Ron had a great first few rounds, but then spent the next few picks taking players best known for exploits for other cities. Fisk played 10 seasons for the Red Sox and 13 seasons for the White Sox, but went in to the Hall of Fame in a Red Sox hat. And if I told you to name one moment from Pudge's career, you're naming him waving a home run fair at Fenway Park. What White Sox memory do you have?

Gomez- Steve Kerr
Gomez shores up the all-important "players-punched-by-Michael-Jordan" position. Did Danny Ferry ever play for a Chicago team?

Will- Paul Konerko
If I had to rate the speed of every player taken so far, here would be the top 5:
1. Devin Hester
2. Lou Brock
3. Derrick Rose
4. Kenny Lofton
5. Walter Payton

And here would be the bottom 5:
50. Carlton Fisk
51. Joel Quennville
52. Tom Thibodeau
53. George Halas
54. Paul Konerko

But maybe I'm underrating TT a little bit. I bet he can run a decent wind sprint. Maybe replace him with Maddux. Konerko is still last, though.

Fifth Round Draft Justifications

Here's where we start to reach a little. Here's the full results again.

Will- Stacey King
If I was Will, I would justify this by just linking to the Stacey King soundboard.

Oh, you were expecting that link to go the soundboard, weren't you? Well, I'm not Will, so instead it goes to his career stats. 6.4 points! 3.3 rebounds! That kind of sucks for a big man! While Stacey is awesome as a color commentator, he never really lived up to his potential as the 6th pick of the draft, ahead of Tim Hardaway and Shawn Kemp.

Gomez- Robbie Gould
Gomez picked Robbie Gould about 10 rounds before you'd pick a kicker in a fantasy football draft. Next.

Ron- Lou Brock
Ron's draft was solid until this point, but Ron doesn't have Ethan's excuse of not understanding the criteria. Thus, Lou Brock is not a good pick. Lou Brock played 2 and a half seasons in Chicago, where he put up OPS+ numbers of 92 and 91 (100 is average), and stole a grand total of 50 bases. Here is a short list of Cubs outfielders off the top of my head who accomplished more than that in their first two seasons in Chicago:
Matt Murton (104, 99)
Kosuke Fukudome (89, 104)
Rondell White (115, 134)
Jeromy Burnitz (94, just one season)
Jacque Jones (108, 86)

Conall- Horace Grant
Horace was great, but the most iconic image of Grant is him celebrating beating the Bulls in the 95 playoffs. Then he talked trash and generally acted like an asshole after (I suppose he had a little right to, but still.) Then he and the Magic got swept in the finals by the Rockets, and the Bulls got revenge the next year.

BJ- Greg Maddux
Even keeping within the technical rules of the draft and discounting Maddux's time with the Braves doesn't affect my rationale for picking him here. Maddux's primary appeal to me growing up was how easy it was to connect with him as a somewhat unathletic, undersized, nerdy kid who loved sports. His legendary preparation and thoughtful approach to pitching are what made him historically successful, but he made the idea real to me that you actually could excel at the highest level by out-thinking the opponent. Also culturally ahead of his time making nerdiness cool in the 90s with the Chicks Dig the Long Ball commercials.

Sam- John Paxson
As a 5th round choice, John Paxson is kind of a steal. Not only was he an essential component of the first three championship for the Bulls in the 1990s - including draining the game-winning shot in Game 6 of the Finals against Phoenix - but he continues his contribution today as the very capable VP of basketball operations for the Bulls. While he may have bogusly fired Scott Skiles on Christmas Eve many years ago and was responsible for the debacle of VDN while he was the GM, he helped bring in TT into the fold and has consistently drafted and signed quality players who buy in to the team system. Bonus points for him being an assistant coach for the Bulls championship team in 1996.

Ethan- Carlos Lee
Again, Carlos Lee had some nice years on the South Side, I suppose, but he's now played almost as long for Houston as the White Sox, and he was gone by 2005 anyway. Meh.

Katz- Toni Kukoc
I don't have too many knocks on Toni, he always did what he was supposed to do, which was be an all-around offensive weapon. He sucked at defense, though, which is why I feel good about my next pick...

Tristan- Ron Harper
There was clearly a huge run on Bulls, so I felt the need to take one of my favorite Bulls, and one I have newfound respect for know that I understand basketball better than I did back in the 90s. Reading Phil Jackson's book The Last Season, he makes a great case for Ron Harper being more instrumental than I realized to the 2nd 3-peat, since he, along with Scottie, just understood defense better than most NBA players. Phil would take Ron out at the end of games and put in Steve Kerr, to open things up a little for MJ, so he's not in some of the most iconic moments in Bulls history, but they wouldn't have gotten there without him.

Fourth Round Draft Justifications

Backwards again! Here's the full results.

Tristan- Andre Dawson
I can't believe the Hawk fell to the 4th round, and was picked behind such non-HoF baseball players such as Mark Buehrle, Kenny Lofton, and Frank Thomas (although I suppose Thomas might get in if they ever allow anyone from the steroids era in). Andre might not have the best career numbers in the world, but he earns points for being the slugger on the team of my childhood, and absolutely crushing the ball for some not-great Cubs teams in the early 90s. Plus he predates the steroids era by a little, so I don't have to worry about these memories being tainted.

Katz- Sid Luckman

Seeing as how I had already gotten a big time defensive player from the Bears I felt I might as well take the second biggest offensive weapon the Bears have ever had. A Hall of Fame QB who spent all 12 seasons in the NFL with the Bears where he won 4 Superbowls and an MVP award in 1943. In the NFL, he holds the record for most TD passes in a game (7), has the highest career TD rate (7.9% of his passes were TDs) and is second in YDs per throw (8.4). Best. Bears. QB. of. All. Time. I know it's not saying much, but the best is still the best. And he was amazing.

Ethan- Cliff Floyd
Ethan says he didn't understand the draft criteria, which explains some of his picks, but not Cliff Floyd. I want to know what criteria we could possibly be using that would make Cliff Floyd a good pick. I mean, I suppose he once came in 22nd in the MVP voting (of course, the guy I got 2 picks ahead of Floyd actually won the MVP for a last-place team, but I digress.) There are just so many better players in any sense of the word that have passed through Chicago than Cliff Floyd. I would have taken Jacque Jones over Cliff Floyd. In fact, I'd put him somewhere between Jeremy Burnitz and Todd Hollandsworth on my "mid-00s Cubs outfielder" draft sheet.

Sam- TT
Picking TT in my 4th round is integral to the make up of my team as a whole. His hard-nose work ethic is the definitive style of my players. Everyone I drafted has that similar mindset. Winning matters more than accolades and practice is vital to performance. In his first year as coach, not only was TT coach of the year but his team lead the league in wins last season. The bulls may have come up short losing to Miami, but they are a team with character and that starts with the coach

BJ- George Halas
Despite the fact that I blatantly stole this pick from Katz (stop announcing your picks ahead of time!) it turned out to be one of my favorites. A legitimate Chicago sports icon, Halas also is one of the key figures in the development of American pro football both on the field and on the business side of things. As an owner he literally built the Bears franchise (picked the name and colors) and changed the way the game was played by co-inventing the T formation. Also one of the great old-school coaches - player-coach-owner, wore badass hats, fought with other players, fought in WWI and WWII, etc. Won 5 NFL championships so I'll end by asking you all to COUNT DA RIIINNNGGGZZZ!

Conall- Patrick Sharp
This feels like a little bit of reach to me. I know there was a run on cup-winning Hawks, and Sharp is a very talented player, but he was maybe the 4th or 5th most-important Hawk on that team (depending on how much credit you want to give Niemi.) But I suppose you probably gave him points for attractiveness, didn't you? That's what it is. You looked into his soulful eyes and couldn't resist, could you? It's OK, Patrick Sharp is a dreamboat. I'm secure enough in my masculinity to admit it.


Ron- Norm Van Lier
Seriously, Ron's strategy was to pick nothing but beloved Chicago athletes who died too young, and thus I can't poke holes in their case, and wouldn't want to in any case (although I could in Norm's case). But like I said, Lou Brock is coming tomorrow, and I have a lot to say about that pick.

Gomez- Antti Niemi
Even if you put Niemi above Sharp in terms of importance to the Cup team, this is a huge stretch, as Niemi only really played that one year in Chicago, and Sharp has at least contributed 7 seasons in the Indian head. I mean, Niemi was great in the playoffs that year, and during the regular season, too, but if there's anything we've learned about hockey lately, it's that goalies are like closers in baseball. It's nice to have a good one, but it's more cost-effective to go cheap.

Will- Joel Quenville
Credit for pushing the right buttons in the Cup run, and for sticking with Big Buff at forward with JT and Kaner. But man, I wish he'd be a little more consistent with his lines and give groups a chance to gel. And stop trotting out Bickell and Frolik so much and let the young guys with more upside a chance for some ice time. And thankfully it's over now, but what the hell was John Scott ever doing on the ice? I'm glad the ship has been righted, but I don't think I would have put up too much of a fuss if he had been canned during the long losing streak this year.

Second Round Draft Justifications

I guess people want their picks being made fun of. Be warned, this is only going to get worse as the picks become bigger reaches. We're going in the order the picks were made, so reverse of last time. (Full results here.)

Tristan- Gale Sayers
Again going out of the "players I got to watch personally" realm, but I read a biography of Gale Sayers back when all I used to read was sports biographies, so I feel like this once counts. Sayers might have had a short career because of injuries (specifically one horrific one I never ever want to think about), but he was first team all pro every season he played more than 2 games. I wish I had seen him in person, but I'll settle for one of the best Bears ever in the 2nd round.

Katz- Mark Buehrle
A modern day White Sox legend where he played his entire career until now and pitched at least 200 innings, won at least 10 games in every season as a starter and made a White Sox record 9 Opening Day starts. In the 2005 World Series he started Game 2 and closed Game 3 to go along with his complete game in the ALCS and is a World Series Champion. Basically, the guy was a guaranteed horse which is always what any contending team needs. He also has 3 Gold Gloves, the most interleague-play wins of all-time, holds the MLB record for most batters retired in a row at 45, a no-hitter where he still only faced 27 batters and a perfect game.

Ethan- Dennis Rodman

Need I say more?

Sam- Jonathan Toews
If part of my taking Bobby Hull in the first round was to get Conall's goat a bit, then my pick of Jonathan Toews was an even more intentional move to make him squirm. Let's get it straight, Toews is the face of the current Blackhawks franchise. His restrained personality and solid work ethic makes him the quintessential Chicago guy, especially when compared with his much more gregarious teammate, Patrick Kane. Kane is the cocky young guy, Toews is the slightly older brother who let's his game speak for itself. Much like D. Rose, he quietly manages his team. He has helped redefine a franchise that was essentially lost to its own audience. He brought a Stanley Cup Championship to the city of Chicago as well as a playoff MVP title. He is one of the youngest captains ever in the NHL, and in my book he gets bonus points for having only ever worn a Hawks jersey.

BJ- Dick Butkus
I wanted to go old school Bears next and legitimately thought about Red Grange here (or Bronco Nagurski who I also regret not picking). But I always like Butkus' NFL films interviews, he is the "founder" of the modern Bears line of middle linebackers, and I do count Singletary's failures as a coach against him (not much but come on). Butkus is also a solid representative of the ultra-competitive, nasty-streak, enforcer-types that Chicagoans have always loved.

Conall- Mike Ditka
Conall sent me his late, so I'll put it up anyway, but leave in my analysis of Ditka's ridiculous right-wing political ideology.
Ditka is a personified landmark in Chicago sports history. An anchor for our cockiness. A swerve to our swag. A pop culture figure of the Windy City. Because of him and with a little help from Saturday Night Live, we have an iconic sports personality and that's shaped our fanaticism and is as popular as the city itself. He expands beyond the incredible team he lead to multiple NFL records and a championship. We wouldn't be saying "DA BEARS" if it wasn't for him. We wouldn't be saying "DA..." anything if it wasn't for him. He is Chicago's Chuck Norris, except he has one thing Chuck doesn't....a mutha-fucking ring.
Hurricane Ditka my ass, this man supported Alan Keyes over Barack Obama for senator. He's cray. A quick search for "Mike Ditka Politics" returns this great headline about Ditka campaigning with Sarah Palin (which I completely forgot about). I was deathly terrified of a "Mike Ditka Santorum" search, but luckily it didn't return anything.
Also, Ditka also likes wedding dress pictures:


Ron- Ron Santo
Ron is lucky he took players I can say nothing bad about. He'd be wise to change that before we get to Lou Brock, however.

Gomez- Phil Jackson
It hurts to say bad things about Phil Jackson, who I have very fond memories of, but the man did leave his wife for his boss' daughter, who is 24 years younger than him. I realize that earns him points in some of your books, but you people are disgusting.

Will- Frank Thomas
It took him getting injured and out of the lineup for the White Sox to win the world series. Coincidence? I think not. Also, he was probably on steroids like everyone else in that era.

Tomorrow: Round 3 (there are some questionable characters picked in round 3, so hopefully everyone is still lazy about writing their justifications)