Thursday, March 22, 2012

Fifth Round Draft Justifications

Here's where we start to reach a little. Here's the full results again.

Will- Stacey King
If I was Will, I would justify this by just linking to the Stacey King soundboard.

Oh, you were expecting that link to go the soundboard, weren't you? Well, I'm not Will, so instead it goes to his career stats. 6.4 points! 3.3 rebounds! That kind of sucks for a big man! While Stacey is awesome as a color commentator, he never really lived up to his potential as the 6th pick of the draft, ahead of Tim Hardaway and Shawn Kemp.

Gomez- Robbie Gould
Gomez picked Robbie Gould about 10 rounds before you'd pick a kicker in a fantasy football draft. Next.

Ron- Lou Brock
Ron's draft was solid until this point, but Ron doesn't have Ethan's excuse of not understanding the criteria. Thus, Lou Brock is not a good pick. Lou Brock played 2 and a half seasons in Chicago, where he put up OPS+ numbers of 92 and 91 (100 is average), and stole a grand total of 50 bases. Here is a short list of Cubs outfielders off the top of my head who accomplished more than that in their first two seasons in Chicago:
Matt Murton (104, 99)
Kosuke Fukudome (89, 104)
Rondell White (115, 134)
Jeromy Burnitz (94, just one season)
Jacque Jones (108, 86)

Conall- Horace Grant
Horace was great, but the most iconic image of Grant is him celebrating beating the Bulls in the 95 playoffs. Then he talked trash and generally acted like an asshole after (I suppose he had a little right to, but still.) Then he and the Magic got swept in the finals by the Rockets, and the Bulls got revenge the next year.

BJ- Greg Maddux
Even keeping within the technical rules of the draft and discounting Maddux's time with the Braves doesn't affect my rationale for picking him here. Maddux's primary appeal to me growing up was how easy it was to connect with him as a somewhat unathletic, undersized, nerdy kid who loved sports. His legendary preparation and thoughtful approach to pitching are what made him historically successful, but he made the idea real to me that you actually could excel at the highest level by out-thinking the opponent. Also culturally ahead of his time making nerdiness cool in the 90s with the Chicks Dig the Long Ball commercials.

Sam- John Paxson
As a 5th round choice, John Paxson is kind of a steal. Not only was he an essential component of the first three championship for the Bulls in the 1990s - including draining the game-winning shot in Game 6 of the Finals against Phoenix - but he continues his contribution today as the very capable VP of basketball operations for the Bulls. While he may have bogusly fired Scott Skiles on Christmas Eve many years ago and was responsible for the debacle of VDN while he was the GM, he helped bring in TT into the fold and has consistently drafted and signed quality players who buy in to the team system. Bonus points for him being an assistant coach for the Bulls championship team in 1996.

Ethan- Carlos Lee
Again, Carlos Lee had some nice years on the South Side, I suppose, but he's now played almost as long for Houston as the White Sox, and he was gone by 2005 anyway. Meh.

Katz- Toni Kukoc
I don't have too many knocks on Toni, he always did what he was supposed to do, which was be an all-around offensive weapon. He sucked at defense, though, which is why I feel good about my next pick...

Tristan- Ron Harper
There was clearly a huge run on Bulls, so I felt the need to take one of my favorite Bulls, and one I have newfound respect for know that I understand basketball better than I did back in the 90s. Reading Phil Jackson's book The Last Season, he makes a great case for Ron Harper being more instrumental than I realized to the 2nd 3-peat, since he, along with Scottie, just understood defense better than most NBA players. Phil would take Ron out at the end of games and put in Steve Kerr, to open things up a little for MJ, so he's not in some of the most iconic moments in Bulls history, but they wouldn't have gotten there without him.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Congrats, TT

Seriously, I give TT way too much crap here and on Twitter (even tonight, on not playing JFB over Lu when Lu was cold), but this is exciting, and well deserved:
Good work, TT.

Fourth Round Draft Justifications

Backwards again! Here's the full results.

Tristan- Andre Dawson
I can't believe the Hawk fell to the 4th round, and was picked behind such non-HoF baseball players such as Mark Buehrle, Kenny Lofton, and Frank Thomas (although I suppose Thomas might get in if they ever allow anyone from the steroids era in). Andre might not have the best career numbers in the world, but he earns points for being the slugger on the team of my childhood, and absolutely crushing the ball for some not-great Cubs teams in the early 90s. Plus he predates the steroids era by a little, so I don't have to worry about these memories being tainted.

Katz- Sid Luckman
Seeing as how I had already gotten a big time defensive player from the Bears I felt I might as well take the second biggest offensive weapon the Bears have ever had. A Hall of Fame QB who spent all 12 seasons in the NFL with the Bears where he won 4 Superbowls and an MVP award in 1943. In the NFL, he holds the record for most TD passes in a game (7), has the highest career TD rate (7.9% of his passes were TDs) and is second in YDs per throw (8.4). Best. Bears. QB. of. All. Time. I know it's not saying much, but the best is still the best. And he was amazing.

Ethan- Cliff Floyd
Ethan says he didn't understand the draft criteria, which explains some of his picks, but not Cliff Floyd. I want to know what criteria we could possibly be using that would make Cliff Floyd a good pick. I mean, I suppose he once came in 22nd in the MVP voting (of course, the guy I got 2 picks ahead of Floyd actually won the MVP for a last-place team, but I digress.) There are just so many better players in any sense of the word that have passed through Chicago than Cliff Floyd. I would have taken Jacque Jones over Cliff Floyd. In fact, I'd put him somewhere between Jeremy Burnitz and Todd Hollandsworth on my "mid-00s Cubs outfielder" draft sheet.

Sam- TT
Picking TT in my 4th round is integral to the make up of my team as a whole. His hard-nose work ethic is the definitive style of my players. Everyone I drafted has that similar mindset. Winning matters more than accolades and practice is vital to performance. In his first year as coach, not only was TT coach of the year but his team lead the league in wins last season. The bulls may have come up short losing to Miami, but they are a team with character and that starts with the coach

BJ- George Halas
Despite the fact that I blatantly stole this pick from Katz (stop announcing your picks ahead of time!) it turned out to be one of my favorites. A legitimate Chicago sports icon, Halas also is one of the key figures in the development of American pro football both on the field and on the business side of things. As an owner he literally built the Bears franchise (picked the name and colors) and changed the way the game was played by co-inventing the T formation. Also one of the great old-school coaches - player-coach-owner, wore badass hats, fought with other players, fought in WWI and WWII, etc. Won 5 NFL championships so I'll end by asking you all to COUNT DA RIIINNNGGGZZZ!

Conall- Patrick Sharp
This feels like a little bit of reach to me. I know there was a run on cup-winning Hawks, and Sharp is a very talented player, but he was maybe the 4th or 5th most-important Hawk on that team (depending on how much credit you want to give Niemi.) But I suppose you probably gave him points for attractiveness, didn't you? That's what it is. You looked into his soulful eyes and couldn't resist, could you? It's OK, Patrick Sharp is a dreamboat. I'm secure enough in my masculinity to admit it.


Ron- Norm Van Lier
Seriously, Ron's strategy was to pick nothing but beloved Chicago athletes who died too young, and thus I can't poke holes in their case, and wouldn't want to in any case (although I could in Norm's case). But like I said, Lou Brock is coming tomorrow, and I have a lot to say about that pick.

Gomez- Antti Niemi
Even if you put Niemi above Sharp in terms of importance to the Cup team, this is a huge stretch, as Niemi only really played that one year in Chicago, and Sharp has at least contributed 7 seasons in the Indian head. I mean, Niemi was great in the playoffs that year, and during the regular season, too, but if there's anything we've learned about hockey lately, it's that goalies are like closers in baseball. It's nice to have a good one, but it's more cost-effective to go cheap.

Will- Joel Quenville
Credit for pushing the right buttons in the Cup run, and for sticking with Big Buff at forward with JT and Kaner. But man, I wish he'd be a little more consistent with his lines and give groups a chance to gel. And stop trotting out Bickell and Frolik so much and let the young guys with more upside a chance for some ice time. And thankfully it's over now, but what the hell was John Scott ever doing on the ice? I'm glad the ship has been righted, but I don't think I would have put up too much of a fuss if he had been canned during the long losing streak this year.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Third Round Draft Justifications/Bulls-Blazers Blame Game

We're going to try something new tonight. I'm going to mix the draft justifications in with the blame game, because why the hell not? (Full results here)

Will- Luol Deng- 40%
The knock against Lu before Derrick came around was that he was soft, got injured easily and missed a lot of games, then settled for long jumpers instead of going to the hole. While the second part is becoming more and more true, it's probably because the first part is now the opposite problem (follow all that?) I commend him for wanting to be tough and play through his injury, he killed us tonight, both with his shooting (1-7) and getting lit up by Batum and Matthews on the other end. He was a game-worst -11 in 40 minutes, and it's not hard to imagine that game could have been closer had the other wings been playing those minutes.

Gomez- Julius Peppers
I have no real dirt on Peppers, so instead I'm going to talk about Boozer (15%) here. Even when you have a "good" game offensively, you still kill us with your lack of defensive rotation to the help man, which had a lot to do with the Blazers getting so many open shots. TT all of a sudden insists on playing you over Taj in the 4th quarter, so it'd be really nice if you learned to play defense.

Ron- Mike Singletary
Mike Singletary dropped his pants in the locker room to motivate his players. Speaking of crazy coaching decisions...
TT (35%) You were not afraid earlier in the year to sit Joakim and Boozer for Taj and Asik late in games earlier this year. So what the hell is going on lately? The Bulls have been not good defensively lately, and I think it's not a stretch to say it has a lot to do with the fact that for some reason Taj and Asik are averaging under 30 minutes a night combined over the last 6 games (taking out Asik's 33 when Jo had the flu). It's really frustrating watching opponents get off open shot after open shot knowing you have guys on the bench capable of stopping that. Get it together, TT.

Conall- Jeremy Roenick
JR is probably best known by my generation for his skills more in a video game (NHL 94) than on the ice, most notably for his ability to wrap around behind the goalie and score every time, not unlike a certain Baseline Ninja (5%), who did nothing offensively tonight and got lit up by Wesley Matthews on the defensive end. Come on, TBN, even if you're not going to help on offense, you need to at least lock Wesley freaking Matthews down. He's not D-Wade here.

BJ- Patrick Kane
Can I just have the youtube clip of the goal?

And I was living at Southport and Addison at the time, right in the heart of Wrigleyville. There were like 8 bars on that block, and I don't think I got to sleep that night until after 4am because of the celebrations. Only time I've lived through a title celebration like that. I'm as guilty as the next Hawks bandwagoner but that season was fun. I still really like playoff hockey too. For me the past few years it's only been behind NBA playoffs for best postseason.

Sam- Brian Urlacher
As the fantasy draft got into the later rounds, the choices shifted to more nostalgic ones for me. After Jordan, Pippen, Rose and the other truly top tier athletes, the criteria for who you choose becomes a little fuzzier. Who would I want on my team? Of all the players I know of to ever sport a Chicago jersey, who would fit the idea of my favorite kind of Chicago athlete? Who do I enjoy rooting for? Brian Urlacher seemed like a solid choice. Having watched the eight time Pro Bowler for the last 11 years, all of which have been spent in a Bears uniform, I know just how much of a beast he is. His aggressiveness made him Defensive Rookie of the Year in 2000 and the Defensive Player of the Year in 2005. Even though the Bears haven't won a championship with him, he continues to battle through injuries to be a leader on the field. He plays hard and you gotta love that. He wears his captain's patch well.

Ethan- Lance Briggs
Lance crashed his Lambo then walked away from it like it didn't happen, which is the kind of thing I could see Joakim Noah (5%) doing. Either that or not getting up for big matchups, even though LaMarcus Aldridge is kind of a big matchup. Aldridge is really good, but there's no reason for Joakim to be outplayed by him that bad. Also, I'm rubbing the salt in Ethan's wound by talking about Aldridge in the post for his favorite Bear, as he wanted to pick Aldridge on a loophole in the draft, but was vetoed.

Katz- Richard Dent
Hall of Famer and Superbowl XX MVP. Probably had the best defensive post-season run that year. Played 11 seasons for the Bears recording over 100 sacks. Lead the league back to back years in sacks. He is 7 of 27 in NFL History. On a team identity built on defense...Greatest. Bears. DE. of. all. time.

Tristan- Chris Chelios
Chelios always felt like a Chicago guy, but he's known for having some of his best years (and most success) in Detroit, kind of like Rip Hamilton (honorary blame). These are the kind games it would be nice to have a decent offensive shooting guard to carry the load. Wait, didn't we sign one of those over the summer for 5 mil? Because all I see is a waste of space at the end of the bench.

But back to Chelios, who was definitely one of the main reasons I liked hockey back in the early 90s, before I really knew how rare it was to have a defenseman putting up point totals in the 70s year after year. Forget Detroit and Montreal, Chris belonged in Chicago, which is why I think he wasn't a reach in round 3.

Know who else belongs in Chicago? Taj Gibson and JFB (absolved), who did everything they could to win tonight in limited minutes. So let's stop limiting those minutes, TT, so we can beat inferior opponents so we can lock down the all-important #1 seed and first round matchup with the Bucks, avoid the Magic in the 2nd, and potentially have home-court against the Heat. Seriously, TT. Now.

#taj30minutesagame

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Second Round Draft Justifications

I guess people want their picks being made fun of. Be warned, this is only going to get worse as the picks become bigger reaches. We're going in the order the picks were made, so reverse of last time. (Full results here.)

Tristan- Gale Sayers
Again going out of the "players I got to watch personally" realm, but I read a biography of Gale Sayers back when all I used to read was sports biographies, so I feel like this once counts. Sayers might have had a short career because of injuries (specifically one horrific one I never ever want to think about), but he was first team all pro every season he played more than 2 games. I wish I had seen him in person, but I'll settle for one of the best Bears ever in the 2nd round.

Katz- Mark Buehrle
A modern day White Sox legend where he played his entire career until now and pitched at least 200 innings, won at least 10 games in every season as a starter and made a White Sox record 9 Opening Day starts. In the 2005 World Series he started Game 2 and closed Game 3 to go along with his complete game in the ALCS and is a World Series Champion. Basically, the guy was a guaranteed horse which is always what any contending team needs. He also has 3 Gold Gloves, the most interleague-play wins of all-time, holds the MLB record for most batters retired in a row at 45, a no-hitter where he still only faced 27 batters and a perfect game.

Ethan- Dennis Rodman

Need I say more?

Sam- Jonathan Toews
If part of my taking Bobby Hull in the first round was to get Conall's goat a bit, then my pick of Jonathan Toews was an even more intentional move to make him squirm. Let's get it straight, Toews is the face of the current Blackhawks franchise. His restrained personality and solid work ethic makes him the quintessential Chicago guy, especially when compared with his much more gregarious teammate, Patrick Kane. Kane is the cocky young guy, Toews is the slightly older brother who let's his game speak for itself. Much like D. Rose, he quietly manages his team. He has helped redefine a franchise that was essentially lost to its own audience. He brought a Stanley Cup Championship to the city of Chicago as well as a playoff MVP title. He is one of the youngest captains ever in the NHL, and in my book he gets bonus points for having only ever worn a Hawks jersey.

BJ- Dick Butkus
I wanted to go old school Bears next and legitimately thought about Red Grange here (or Bronco Nagurski who I also regret not picking). But I always like Butkus' NFL films interviews, he is the "founder" of the modern Bears line of middle linebackers, and I do count Singletary's failures as a coach against him (not much but come on). Butkus is also a solid representative of the ultra-competitive, nasty-streak, enforcer-types that Chicagoans have always loved.

Conall- Mike Ditka
Conall sent me his late, so I'll put it up anyway, but leave in my analysis of Ditka's ridiculous right-wing political ideology.
Ditka is a personified landmark in Chicago sports history. An anchor for our cockiness. A swerve to our swag. A pop culture figure of the Windy City. Because of him and with a little help from Saturday Night Live, we have an iconic sports personality and that's shaped our fanaticism and is as popular as the city itself. He expands beyond the incredible team he lead to multiple NFL records and a championship. We wouldn't be saying "DA BEARS" if it wasn't for him. We wouldn't be saying "DA..." anything if it wasn't for him. He is Chicago's Chuck Norris, except he has one thing Chuck doesn't....a mutha-fucking ring.
Hurricane Ditka my ass, this man supported Alan Keyes over Barack Obama for senator. He's cray. A quick search for "Mike Ditka Politics" returns this great headline about Ditka campaigning with Sarah Palin (which I completely forgot about). I was deathly terrified of a "Mike Ditka Santorum" search, but luckily it didn't return anything.
Also, Ditka also likes wedding dress pictures:


Ron- Ron Santo
Ron is lucky he took players I can say nothing bad about. He'd be wise to change that before we get to Lou Brock, however.

Gomez- Phil Jackson
It hurts to say bad things about Phil Jackson, who I have very fond memories of, but the man did leave his wife for his boss' daughter, who is 24 years younger than him. I realize that earns him points in some of your books, but you people are disgusting.

Will- Frank Thomas
It took him getting injured and out of the lineup for the White Sox to win the world series. Coincidence? I think not. Also, he was probably on steroids like everyone else in that era.

Tomorrow: Round 3 (there are some questionable characters picked in round 3, so hopefully everyone is still lazy about writing their justifications)